Christmas and the holidays

I love Christmas as much as any normal person, in fact, I can't wait to decorate my own place for it this year with all the stuff that I got 75% off on New Year's Day. I'm super excited for it. But I'm not rushing things. Thanksgiving is next Thursday. I have cinnamon rolls to make from scratch this Saturday. Thursday is the day to spend with family and count your blessings.

Friday, starts the Christmas season. Sometime over the weekend I'll put away my fall decorations, load my Christmas playlist back onto my iPod and put up my Christmas tree. I'll make and buy things for my family. But I'm not going to rush it. I'm going to enjoy every day because that is what life is about.

In Memory of Mocha

I didn't expect to feel for you as deep as I did so quickly. You didn't catch my eye the first time I walked around the kennel at the animal shelter but when I saw you, you were sweet and didn't get in the face of the other dogs at the shelter. I guess I should have seen it with how excited you were to get out of your kennel, but I just thought that you were excited after 2 weeks of being in doggie jail. You had such a fun ride in the car and a trip through Petsmart where I spoiled you rotten, buying you much more than you needed. I laughed when we got home and you jumped into the trunk of my car while I was unloading the haul from Petsmart. You loved your Kong toy, watching you chase it around the house made me smile. I was worried with how easily you jumped up and were sniffing things on the counter, looking for something to eat. When you met my dad you wouldn't calm down and you decided that you liked my papasan chair and I knew we were going to have to work on the staying off the furniture thing. I tried to give you a bath, but that was a losing battle. I saw then that you were an escape artist and I didn't have your collar tight enough since you got out of it twice. I felt bad leaving you to go to a meeting at work. I didn't realize when I got home that our time together was almost done. We went out once and we came back inside. You looked so peaceful when you went and laid down in the middle of the living room while I was cooking. I was getting ready to eat myself and you were sniffing around the house in a way that made me worry so I put you back on your leash and took you out. You sniffed, you rolled and then you got free. You unclipped your leash and took off. I almost had you at one point and you took off again. Apparently you thought that we were either playing a game, you smelled an animal, or you were trying to get back to your old home. I thought that you were going to be fast enough. You almost made it across the street before the car hit you. I was horrified. I got to you as quickly as I could and you died in my arms. At least you had a good afternoon. You got to taste freedom again. I miss you Mocha.

Ghost Chronicles: Part 2

March 2/3

I suppose I deserved this visit from my ghost (If one of them, because I think that there's 2 now, is my grandma). I said one of those things that scare your family and friends. I had a bad infection and I had been feeling really crappy, the right side of my face had swollen up. The family was over making room for Ryan and Liz to move in and I started out with the right side of my lips going numb and it then proceeding up my face. Most of us are medical professionals and know that I was having one of the symptoms of a stroke, so it was a trip to the emergency room to make sure that I wasn't. Apparently, I scared my ghost too. Because after I got home, I saw the ghost again. I'd convinced my parents that I could sleep by myself because we knew I wasn't going to have a stroke, so they dropped me off at home and I'd crawled into bed and to sleep. I laid down and at some point during the night I had rolled over and saw a smoking comet (anyone who knows my grandma would know how she loved her smokes) streaking across the ceiling above my bed. Then I had a little break from my ghost. I don't remember what day it was, but I was taking a nap before work one day and I felt something stroking my hair, even though I was alone.

Fast forward to last night. I was sleeping with my bedroom door shut and I swear that I heard it click open. Then I felt something jump up into bed with me, like a cat (and there has never been a shortage of cats in this house until now), and walk around the bed for a minute and then jump off. Nightmare, I miss you buddy, but please leave me alone while I sleep.

Ghost Chronicles, Part 1

So, I never really believed in ghosts before. I didn't believe other people's stories about ghosts in their houses.

Until I saw one in my own on Sunday night.

Since I've moved into my own place, the water heater has been making funny sounds. It shakes the pipes in the whole house when it turns on and you can hear water running. It's not a quiet sound. So, it just happened that I was falling asleep when the water heater did it's lovely little trick. I opened my eyes and rolled over and I saw it.

Right by the door, which was partially open and letting in a little of the light from the nightlight in the hallway, was a set of what looked like curlicues of smoke at about knee height coming out of the carpet. There was nothing to explain it besides a ghost. There's no heat vents or anything that would explain smoking carpet.

And it happened again last night. Once again, the water heater did it's little trick and I opened my eyes. About a foot away from my head, overtop the pillows that I have on an end table next to my bed, was an "orb" of "smoke" with wisps coming out from it. I rolled over and tried to ignore that it was there, but sleep did not come easily to me the rest of the night. At some point, I felt something patting the blankets next to me, yet I was all alone.

What will my ghost do next?

Trying

I'm trying hard to get back into shape. My body is so weak from the past year and a half. Three surgeries do amazing things to the strength of your core muscles. I'm going through physical therapy for my leg right now because it's so weak from the nerve damage that's occurred. I try to exercise and get my strength back, but I do a little too much and I'm down and out for a day or two. This is no fun but I want to exercise more.

Snowpocalypse 2011!

I feel that the aftermath of Snowpocalypse 2011! needs both a capital S and an exclamation point, because the weathermen actually got it right today. Especially since I just opened my front door up out of curiosity and found a drift that went up almost to the window of my garage. Crap.

Luckily, I ddn't have anywhere to go today. Well, I take that back, I was supposed to go to physical therapy this morning, but they called me at 745 to cancel because the building was closed. That was nice, but then I couldn't go back to sleep. So, I got up and looked out the kitchen window, and nope, still couldn't see the stoplight up on the corner. Usually I can see it just fine. Since I was stuck in the house, I curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee, a book, and the remote with some stuff on DVR to watch and then caught up on a couple of other shows on demand.

Now, I"m still trying to unpack, but I'm getting too easily distracted by the interwebz and television (is that a shiny object?) so I turned off the TV and hit shuffle on my iPod while I'm waiting for my dad to maybe make it over today and use the behemoth of a snowblower on my driveway, either that or the mystery person who's been plowing my driveway before I moved in to come and plow it. That'd be nice. Of course, if dad gets over, then I'll have the baking powder I need to make dumplings to go with the chicken stew that I'm hungry for. Stew just sounds like a good comfort food on a cold and oh so snowy day. And maybe, just maybe, I can now go convince myself to figure out the tangle of wires on my desk and set up my PC so that I can use that as well. Maybe I'll get through another couple of boxes too.

Maybe.

New Year, New Me

Maybe I shouldn't call them resolutions, but here are my goals for 2011.

1. Be healthy! (Come on, it's been 2 years, someone throw me a frickin' bone on this one)
2. Pay my bills the same week that I get them.
3. At least make the entries in my checkbook every week instead of waiting until my wallet is about to explode.
4. Be happier.
5. Post on here at least 3 times a week and get back into the habit of writing.

You can pick your friends...

...but you can't pick your relatives.

It's funny, that saying rang true before, but now, with social networking sites like Facebook, you can pick your relatives. You can pick if you want to communicate with them or not outside of family functions. I never really thought about this until a conversation with some people from high school tonight about relatives deleting you as friends. It's not like it's someone that you're not going to see again. It's someone who is going to have to look at you at Easter dinner or at their child's birthday parties. What makes you think that it's acceptable behavior to just delete a family member when it's someone that you're still going to have to deal with in your life. It's not like you can just walk away from them.

Nights of the Insane Dreams

So, I've been taking Lyrica for about 2 months now to deal with a nerve problem. Within 2 hours of taking the pill, my pain was gone, so it's been well worth it except for one small side effect.

The dreams.

I have been having the weirdest dreams since I've been taking it. They've been vivd, I actually remember them when I wake up. I've been stuck places, with people that I shouldn't be with. It's insane. Hopefully, I won't need it much longer since the nerve that was supposed to be causing me pain was cut during my last surgery.

The thoughts of an average American who is effing sick of the election

Title of this post should say it all.

There is more to the world than politics. Than Liberals v Conservatives. Though the extremists would have us think that the fate of the Universe depends on their party being in power.

It sickens me.

I'm sick of it.

I don't want to hear about it anymore.

I just want to teleport through time and have tomorrow be over.

I don't know about you, but I'm sick of the negativity. I'm sick of every other commercial on TV being a negative campaign ad telling you how awful the other candidate is and how they're going to ruin the world. That's not what I want to hear. Tell me what you are going to do, tell me how you're going to make things better, tell me about YOU. Don't tell me how 10 years ago a guy that you didn't know did something that offends you now because you think that it will make people vote for you. Don't tell me how he or she is bad for me. Tell me how you are good for me. Tell me how you're going to help me. Didn't your mama ever teach you that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all? The people who are getting my votes are the ones that have run the fewest attack ads.

But, while thinking about this, what is up with the amount of money being spent on this election? Seriously. It's enough to fund a small country. Or seriously cut out national debt. The money could be spent so much better than on attack ads and I know that I'm not the only one sick of all this election mess and the amount of money being wasted to tell the population how much the other guy sucks.

I can't wait until tomorrow is over.

Too bad the mess will start again in a year with the primaries again.

God help us all.

My thoughts on the "Ground Zero Mosque"

Normally, I don't blog about things political, but this is really bugging me.

Americans and Christians weren't the only people that died on 9/11. Not by a long shot, but we, being Americans, are arrogant enough to believe that we are the only ones that were affected.

Now there is a big hubub as the Islamic community wants to build a community center near the site of the World Trade Center. This has caused a huge reaction that we're disrespecting the memory of the people who died on 9/11. I've been to Ground Zero, I've ridden past the ruined subway station and felt the horror of the attack. Though I've been there, I support the rights of the Muslim community to build their community center where they wish.

America was a country built on religious freedom. It seems though that if you're not a WASP, religious freedom doesn't belong to you. The extremists want you to think that. If you don't think how I think, then you are the enemy and must be destroyed. People forget the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would do unto you." Islam was founded as a peaceful religion, and most followers are peaceful, the biased media would have us think otherwise though. People seem to forget that the Old Testament, Kor'an, and Torah are the same thing.

So, let the people have their community center. A site where people can get together and meet peacefully. If we do nothing but promote ignorance and intolerance, then we are doing nothing but raising the next generation of bigots and terrorists. Our arrogance that we are the only country that matters and our religious freedoms is what make the fundamental extremists hate us. It is time to get past the hate and back to the values that made us the greatest country in the world, a melting pot for people of all faiths and cultures to live in peace side by side.

Remember, "That which you do to the least of my brothers, you do to me."

Time

It's time for me to focus on myself. Sounds weird after what I've gone through in the past year, but there are some changes that I need to make in my life. I need to focus on my emotional well being and stop becoming the cynical bitch that I'm trying so hard not to become but circumstances are forcing on me. It's time for me to take control.

Life Restored

I had a one month post-op check today. I've got official permission to return to work. Which gives me my life back! Yes! Finally!

The end is in sight

Rewind to last Tuesday. Dad and I were sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner because he had to go to class and mom wasn't home yet. While we were eating, sharp pains started shooting down my leg. I finished eating and tried getting comfortable in the recliner but my abdomen and leg hurt so much. The day before I'd had some random pain down my leg and some numbness when I went to bed. I was getting concerned that the herniated disc in my back was getting worse and that I really was going to need back surgery, which scared the crap out of me. Mom came home from work and I was laying on the floor crying and trying to get comfortable. Mom ate, I tried an ice pack, a heating pad, soaking in warm water. Nothing was helping. Around 9, we finally headed towards the emergency room. For as busy as they were, I got a room fairly quickly but everything else was slow. Got admitted around 4am and mom left to go grab a nap on Grandma's couch around 5. I saw the neurosurgeon later that day and he was saying that he wasn't sure that it was my spine but he'd order a full spine MRI and see what that shows. I also saw another general surgeon that afternoon and he decided that another laproscopy was in order and since I was having some pain on my right side that I also needed to have my appendix out. He was going to schedule it for 3pmish the next day and I was on clear liquids until then and I also needed to drink half of a go-lytely. Boo!

Rewind 6 month to July 1. That was my first laproscopy when I had an obturator hernia that was repaired with mesh and my left ovary was adhesioned to my colon. All of this was repaired.

Surgery on February 2nd reveals: I'd formed adhesions (scar tissue) from the 1st surgery which wasn't that big of a surprise but the big surprise was the general surgeon found that during the first surgery the patch from the hernia was stitched to my colon. Every time I moved, this patch was pulling on my colon! The appendectomy was a breeze and I woke up in a lot of pain from the surgery but the pain that I'd been experiencing for the past 7 months was gone.

Now it's just time to heal and go back to work...

Sick Leave Reading List Part IV

Charlaine Harris
An Ice Cold Grave
Shakespeare's Landlord
Shakespeare's Champion
Shakespeare's Trollop
Shakespeare's Counselor
Shakespeare's Christmas

Stephanie Laurens
The Untamed Bride

Various Authors
Bite

Chantelle Shaw
The Greek Billionaire's Innocent Princess

CJ Lyons
Warning Signs
Urgent Care

Karen Traviss
501st: An Imperial Commando Novel

Sherrilyn Kenyon
Born of Night
Born of Fire
Born of Ice

Laurell K Hamilton
Divine Misdemeanors

Lyndsay Sands
Tall, Dark & Hungry

Patricia Cornwell
The Scarpetta Factor

Christine Feehan
Street Game

In loving memory of Loha Gene Mussell

A Dedication to my Grandma
By Amanda Kay Mussell



Though we’re here to say goodbye
In our hearts you’ll always lie
And while we find it hard to let you go
In a better place you are, we know

You saw the beauty in every day life
It helped you through times of sorrow and strife
In your life, you fought the good fight
You fought that fight with all your might

You always took care of everyone else
As easily as taking a pulse
You never let go of being a nurse
Taking care of friends and family, for better or worse

Then it became time for us to take care of you
We did the best that we could do
Then God called you home to His eternal bliss
We said goodbye with a hug and a kiss

Finally reunited with your true love
We know that you watch down on us from above
We know you’ll be watching us every day
For you’ve joined the angels so faraway

Though you’re not near, you’re still around
With us in thoughts and sound
Whether through song or the sight of a flower
We know you’re near, in the peace of a rain shower

When times get bad and we’re filled with fear
We know you’ll make it better with an angel’s whisper in our ear
Helping us through the good times and the bad
Knowing you don’t want us to be sad

You’ve become our angel to adore
Waiting for us on God’s golden shore
Grandpa met you at heaven’s door
And told you “My dear, your suffering is no more.”

So, while we miss you so
We knew it was your time to go
As you sit in heaven’s splendor
You’re still our great defender

With a tear we say good-bye
We look for you now in the sky
And while our lives won’t be the same
We will forever carry your flame

Watch down on us Grandma
From heaven above
We will miss you forever
As we say good-bye with our undying love

Rest in Peace Grandma Mussell

Psalm 23

1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Sick Leave Reading List Part III

Taylor Smith
Common Passions

Charlaine Harris
An Ice Cold Grave

Anne Knoll
The Lost Lady of Hathaway Manor

Lois Stewart
The Lost Bride of Kildrummond

Sharon Kendrick
Constantine's Defiant Mistress

Lee Wilkinson
Captive in the Millionaire's Castle

Kate Hewitt
The Sheikh's Forbidden Virgin

J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Sherrilyn Kenyon
Phantom of the Night

The soap confusion

I opened a new bottle of hand soap in my bathroom yesterday. Cucumber melon. It's a scent that I've been using off and on for years. In fact, I have a couple of bottle of lotion to use up too. But anyways, when I'd go to wash my hands, I'd turn on the sink and pump the soap at the same time. When I was pumping the soap, I'd notice an off smell. It was sour or something. All, I could think was that it was the soap but it was weird because my hands smelled fine when I washed them. So, I took the soap back to Bath & Body Works and exchanged it for a new one. Yesterday I'd opened a cherry blossom soap yet still today I smelled the smell. So, I asked my dad if he'd take a look at the sink tomorrow. He looked at it tonight. The drain was full of a giant hairball. He pulled some of it out and then I had to sacrifice a metal hangar to finish the cleaning of the putrid smelling drain. I'd exchanged the soap for nothing. Oops. Gotta watch out what goes down the drain from now on. Apparently liquid plumbr doesn't fix hair that won't let go and it just makes for a really pleasant smell.

Sick Leave Reading List Part II

Sophie Kinsella
Shopaholic & Baby

Charlaine Harris
Grave Sight
Grave Suprprise

Stephanie Laurens
Temptation and Surrender
Mastered by Love

JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire


To be continued...