Update!

I updated some of the links. Haven't gotten to all of them yet. Thinking about a new background.

I've been tagged!

Good thing I looked at your blog last night T or I woulda missed the fact that you tagged me. So here we go, 20 random things about me:

1. My middle name is Kay
2. I HATE snakes
3. I've been battling low self esteem for a long time.
4. I'm too shy to ask someone out
5. I found my first gray hair when I was 18
6. Sometimes I make myself sick because I worry too much about things that I have no control over.
7. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough with my life.
8. Thanks to the wonders of the net, I was once going to marry someone that I had yet to meet but thought that I was totally in love with. Luckily, he turned out to be a cheating bastard and I got rid of his ass.
9. I tend to hold my anger in.
10. I want to have my own sailboat someday.
11. I'm really a shy person until you get to know me and draw me out.
12. I'm closer to a lot of people that I've met online than I am some of my friends from school.
13. I have no desire to see some of the people that I went to highschool with ever again.
14. I am not a morning person.
15. I'm actually having trouble coming up with these 20 things
16. I have a green thumb.
17. I'm a lot like my grandma, I don't get dressed until I have somewhere to go.
18. I have about 70 SW EU books.
19. I love reading about what stupid people do to themselves
20. I like to take bets at work about what peoples alcohol levels and drug screen results will be

Tag:
The scoundrel
T2

M*A*S*H

Oops it disappeared again

I always realize that I haven't updated here in a while when the blogger website disappears from my list of websites on Firefox. So hmmm, where to start...

I know! I've lost 15 pounds. It's a totally awesome feeling, and of course I've been celebrating by buying new clothing, which I went and did today. I'm a size 14 now (hooray) and I want to be down to a 10. Two more sizes to go to hit my target size.

There's a guy that I work with that I like. Steve's awesome. We have this great friendly banter going on and have a similar sense of humor and we're always going back and forth, but also talking and he started to give me a back rub one day when I was alone in the break room, but I wasn't suspecting it and kinda jumped, so I'm wondering if that might have scared him off a little. But he seemed impressed one night when I said that I can dish it out just as well as I can take it. (Thank you to all you online folk who have helped me perfect my snark!) I guess now I just have to find out if he's seeing anybody or all that jazz. Until then, I'll just go with the winks, smiles and shared jokes.

My parent's party is driving me nucking futs. I have the main planning done, the caterer hired, the dj, the hall, church stuff is organized. All I have left to do is get decorations, go grocery shopping and receive RSVP's. It's the RSVP's that are driving me crazy though. I thought that I'd be safe by having people email me or call my cell phone. The email part is working for those who have elected to RSVP that way and I thought that I'd be safe having people call my cell phone, but every time that someone calls my cell to RSVP, I'm with my MOTHER. And this party is supposed to be a SURPRISE. And she always asks who it is, and the person on the phone usually has some sory of question, what to bring, what do they want, etc. Ah well, in two weeks it'll all be over. It's going to be one hell of a 25th Anniversary Luau though. I had to cut the guest list off at aunts and uncles, immediate family and family friends because I'd passed 100 people. I think that my last remaining shred of sanity will be gone by the time this party is over. Especially if I have to work with Brian a lot the week before the party, then I'll miss the party because I'll be in jail for homicide.

The beauty of words

It's amazing how much a few words can make you just be on cloud nine. I didn't even notice when I was with Dan but he never had anything to say about how I looked, even when I made a special effort to look nice for him. Yet now I talk to good guy friends and they tell me how good I look and that I'm beautiful and that just makes everything ok again.

Is this the real life?

I dunno. Lately I haven't felt myself. Almost like I'm lost in a fantasy. It's just weird. I go to work. I read. A lot. I sleep. I get up in the morning and I fool around online and run whatever errands that I need to run that day. But that's it. It's almost like I'm letting life pass me by. I don't remember the last time that I went out and had fun with the friends that I have in this area. I miss my friends from school.

School. Wow. This is the first time in 17 years that I haven't had to go back to school. It's kind of weird. I miss it in a way. I don't miss the stress of studying and all that, but I miss the people. I miss people my own age. Everyone that I work with is older than me. Some only by months and some have kids in college. I miss constanly being around people my own age. And I wish there was someplace other than bars to hang out at at night when I get out of work. I would love for a late night coffee shop or something where people can just hang out. We really need something like that in this area. The only coffee shop that I see is always closed whenever I go by it. I should open one, make it a cool place with open mic nights and live music some nights. Just a place where people can be themselves and not be surrounded by the drunks that frequent Midland Street.

Maybe I should move. Finding a new job wouldn't be that hard. But I like where I'm at. I'd miss my family, but I miss my friends. They're scattered all over the state. Here, Detroit, Lansing, Grand Rapids. *sigh* Who knows.

Champagne High

I know I've posted this before but it's fitting for my mood right now

I wasn't looking for a lifetime with you
And I never thought it would hurt just to hear
"I do" and "I do"
And I do a number on myself
And all that I thought to be
And you'll be the one
That just left me undone
By my own, hesitation

and for the million hours that we were
well I'll smile and remember it all
then I'll turn and go
while your story's completed mine is a long way from done.

Well I'm on a champagne high
Where will I be when I stop wondering why
On a champagne high
I'd toast to the future but that'd be a lie
On a champagne high, high

Spring turned to summer
But then winter turned to mean
The distance seemed right
At the time it was best - to leave
And to leave behind
What I once thought was fine And so real - to me
And while I'm still gone
On the quest for my song
I'm at your - celebration
and for the million hours that we were
well I'll smile and remember it all
then I'll turn and go
while your story's completed mine is a long way from done.

Well I'm on a champagne high
Where will I be when I stop wondering why
On a champagne high
I'd toast to the future but that'd be a lie
On a champagne high, high

Your wagons been hitched to a star
Well now he'll be your thing that's new
Yeah what little I have you can borrow
'Cause I'm old and I'm blue...
and for the million hours that we were
well I'll smile and remember it all
then I'll turn and go
while your story's completed mine is a long way from done.

Well I'm on a champagne high (so high)
Where will I be when I stop wondering why
On a champagne high (so high)
Toast to the future but that'd be a lie
On a champagne high
Where will I be when I stop wondering why
On a champagne high... high...
So high so high you left me undone
so high, so high you left me undone...