You can pick your friends...

...but you can't pick your relatives.

It's funny, that saying rang true before, but now, with social networking sites like Facebook, you can pick your relatives. You can pick if you want to communicate with them or not outside of family functions. I never really thought about this until a conversation with some people from high school tonight about relatives deleting you as friends. It's not like it's someone that you're not going to see again. It's someone who is going to have to look at you at Easter dinner or at their child's birthday parties. What makes you think that it's acceptable behavior to just delete a family member when it's someone that you're still going to have to deal with in your life. It's not like you can just walk away from them.

Rest in Peace Grandma Mussell

Psalm 23

1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Camping

Ok so I know it's been like 2 weeks since I've gone camping but I've been busy! I've been meaning to blog for a while, really, I have!

We packed up the trailer and headed up to Tawas Point. If you can't tell from my flickr pictures, I just love Tawas. It's a great little tourist town, even if WalMart has put all the little stores out of business.



We were at the campground out at the point so we were across the bay from the State Harbor, where I stayed last year. It was nice being in the campground because I hadn't camped there in ages. It was nice to be back, and they'd totally redone some of the campsites, and the bathrooms and showers (score! Private shower area instead of stalls lined up next to each other).

Would have been great had we not gotten there and found the campsite we were assigned to under about 4 inches of water. Made me so happy that we were in a trailer and not a tent. Luckily, the campground is mostly sand so the site drained quickly.

Got set up, ate, hung out with our neighbors. I learned the most interesting thing from the Hash's.

Hot dogs make good fishing bait.



Friday's campfire was good, but not everyone in our group was there, so we called it a slightly early night (If you call midnight early).

Naturally, as always happens when I'm camping, I was up early on Saturday, in fact I thought it was later than 8am when I woke up.

After a leisurley breakfast we headed into town for a bit, had lunch at Mulligan's (formerly The Perfect Pickle) and had an order of the original deep fried pickles. No one else can beat them.

We got back to the campground, suited up, went down to the beach, and of course, then the rains came...

So back to town with the Hashes to kill time.

And I managed to twist my ankle by stepping in a hole in a rain covered street trying to get from one awning to another. That was fun.

Not nearly as fun though as getting back to camp and finding our campsite ankle deep in water and our carpet floating.

Yes, floating.

And the rain wasn't stopping.

So we went for pizza.

And saw some amazing lightning and then a rainbow over the bay.

Luckily it dried out enough that night for a good fire.



And we roasted peeps in that fire, but they don't eat well after you've reduced them to a bubbling pile of marshmallow slag.

And we had some sticky marshmallows left, that we didn't want to take home...

So I roasted all of them at once on our new marshmallow stick.



And the flames rocked!

Sunday we broke camp a little later than intended, but we were down the aisle that every camper had to go down to get to the dumping station. So we just left late. And the rangers didn't have much of a problem with it.

I can't wait to go sailing again.

Confirmation Day, Part II

Thursday was Morgan's Confirmation, the reason that I'd gone out to Jersey. Woke up at a decent time and then Roy, Aunt Nan and I ended up going shopping for a bit around town. I introduced Roy and Aunt Nan to the joy that is Coldstone Creamery, neither of them had ever eaten there before. We headed back home and then headed out to the mall to get Morgan a new outfit to wear, since she had one dress outfit and had worn it to all her friends Bar and Bat Mitzvah's. So we found her a cute new black skirt and top, which is easy when you're a lil size 5.

Rush back to the house.

Change into dress clothes.

Run over to the church and sit through the pre-Confirmation instructions.

Now, I've been through my fair share of Confirmations, in fact we'd had 5 in church the week before. But this was the first time that I'd been to a special mass just for Confirmation. And the first time that I'd seen 104 kids Confirmed at once. That's right ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR. At my church, it's done weekly by a priest. In New Jersey, it was a special service presided over by the Archbishop of Kingston Jamaica, the previous Bishop of the diocese.

And just how long does a Confirmation service for 104 kids take?

Two hours.

Because they had to write letters to the Bishop requesting Confirmation, and the Bishop decided to read 5 of them in their entirety. Luckily, instead of the literal laying on of the hands to invoke the Holy Spirit, they did it all at once in a more figurative since, or we would have been there forever. But it was still special for everyone getting Confirmed because the Bishop spoke to each person individually before sealing them with the Oil of Chrism. Euleasia was in the choir and while Morgan and I were walking for Confirmation, she was singing a solo, so it made it seem even more special.

When we got home, the kids got their gifts, Morgan her Confirmation gifts and Nick his First Communion gifts. Then Roy and I were starving, so we took off in search of food, but at 11 at night, the only thing open was McDonald's, so Big Macs it was and then back home to get some sleep for the trip to New York the next morning.

The Trip of Firsts, Part I

This is just simply too long to post all at once, which is probably why I've been putting it off, but here's the first part about my trip out to New Jersey for Morgan's Confirmation.

This trip out to New Jersey has been a trip full of firsts. It started with my first flight, a short 16 minute flight from Flint to Detroit. It was cool, except that since the trip was so short, we didn't get very high up, so it was just a wee bit bumpy and I felt a little nauseated. But Aunt Nan and I made it to Detroit vomit free and got some pizza at the airport. And the miraculous part is that Aunt Nan didn't pick all the cheese off of her pizza and go "It's too cheesy!" She actually ate the whole slice, complaint free. We had just enough time to eat and board our flight to Philadelphia, it was all going so smoothly. Too smoothly, for when we taxied up to the runway, we found out that we were being delayed by Philadelphia air traffic control and therefore got to sit on the runway for about 25 minutes. Fun fun.

Flying is amazing. I had a window seat on both flights, and while you're traveling over 500mph, when you look out the window, it so doesn't seem like you're moving that fast. There were some awesome photo opportunities that I took full advantage of.



Now, the plan was for Aunt Nan and I to land and then for Roy to land just over an hour after we did, and with claiming baggage and stuff, it would have worked out perfectly, but as is the way with air travel, it didn't work out that way. Since we were delayed, so was Roy. His plane didn't land until 8pm. So we had a couple of hours to kill and Aunt Nan and I just say and watched the planes take off and land.

We finally made it to the house around 9:30, after stopping at Subway to get some food. Watching Aunt Nan order her sub was almost painful. I should have tipped the girl or something for putting up with her order. Nick was waiting at the door for us and was very excited to see his Nana again. He hadn't seen me in a couple of years, so he didn't remember me right away, and had a bit of trouble with my name, so I stared out the weekend as Mamaw. It took a bit of persuading to get him into bed and then we got to visit with Morgan and see some of the projects that she had done at school, including a very cool pair of Looney Tunes fleece pajama pants. We ended day one visiting with Euleasia and Roy before everyone crashed.

Vacation

I'm off to New Jersey to see family for my cousin Morgan's confirmation. Be back on Sunday!

Life got in the way

I know, I know, I've been neglecting this lately, but life has been busy lately. So this will become a multi-blog.

Conference

Last week was the MSCLS conference. I managed to get the time off of work for it, though I don't know why they don't make it easier for more people to go, I mean you learn so much and it seems like only the students go, and that's because their schools make them. I came back from the conference refreshed and re-energized and enjoying what I do for a living again. I brought back some ideas that may improve patient care, and information on the new way that diseases and disorders are being looked at. It's just like a 3 days that I need every year. Not to mention that I had a sweet suite at the hotel, with a jacuzzi tub and a king sized sleep number bed. It was heavenly. I was really glad that I'd decided to go down the night before the conference started since it was such a long trip. Plus Jill lives in Kalamazoo and I hadn't seen her in a year, so it was great to have some time to catch up with her. It'd been too long.

Home

Mom's still in the process of recovering from her surgery, it's been 6 weeks and I'm still in the process of chauffeuring her around because she still isn't quite herself. Mainly because she formed an abscess (only she'd be that 1% of people to get that particular complication) so now she's on killer antibiotics and is slowly starting to feel better. Hooray!

I'm getting ready to go to New Jersey in a week and a half for Morgan's Confirmation. So not only am I in the process of unpacking from the conference still, I also have to start figuring out what clothing and stuff I'm going to take with me and how to get gifts to New Jersey on 2 different planes out there in one piece. Fun fun. Luckily my gifts for her are small and things that she'll actually need. Hopefully my aunt that I'm traveling with doesn't buy something stupid.

And now for the scary part...

I've been accepted into CMU's Masters of Science of Administraion, Health Care Administration program.

Am I crazy?

Am I nuts?

Working full time on nights and going to school half time.

Shit.

A Very PJ Day

After having a busy and somewhat crummy weekend, I've stayed in my PJ's all day today. In fact, I'm sitting in the recliner right now with my laptop, no lights on, a candle burning next to me, and watching American Idol.

Mom had surgery last week. She was in the hospital for 4 days and came home Thursday. We had to set up a bed in the living room for her, because her bed is too low for her to get in and out of right now, so it's funny seeing her in the middle of the living room fast asleep. But she's slowly recovering, and I've got her home with me for the next 5 weeks.

*yawn* Yeah, it's a good day to stay in PJ's curled up in my robe. I slept a chunk of today, and I'm still sleepy thanks to a lack of sleep lately. Gonna sleep good in a few hours.

Happy 2008!

Well, a new year is here, and as usual, it's cold! Even though I can't really complain because the lake levels need a hard winter, but I want to be warm again. But 2007 is over and the end of it was good.

Christmas was a chaotic time. I made the cinnamon rolls for Christmas dinner and was planning on making them with Grandma M because we always make them together, but I didn't realize what a job this would be as bad as her dementia has gotten this year. First off, we did them at my house because my aunt had the flu and I didn't want to be cooking food that many other people would eat when there's a flu virus running around in that house. So I told my aunt that we'd pick Grandma up at 10am. Dad calls over there shortly after 10 and Grandma had just gotten up so she wasn't ready yet. I didn't know this because I'd run over to the neighbor's house to show Jane the pictures that I'd taken of Cocoa because I knew she wanted to see them. I also wanted Chuck to make me a hair dryer and curling iron holder for my bathroom. I ended up trading the pictures of Cocoa for the hair dryer curling iron holder. I come back home, Jane comes with me and I find out that grandma wasn't ready yet. Mom and Jane visit for a while and then I start making the cinnamon rolls while mom decides to go get grandma. Mom is then gone for over an hour and I'm starting to get worried. I call over there and Mom's just getting Grandma out the door. Apparently Mom had to help her get dressed and everything.

So Mom and Grandma get here, I've got the cinnamon rolls rising already and I've got a batch of fudge starting on the stove. As I'm stirring the fudge, Grandma comes over and looks in the pot. "What kind of candy are you making?"

"Fudge." At this point I'm just boiling the sugar, milk, salt and butter.

She looks in the pot again. "Oh, white fudge."

Later in the day as the rolls are baking and cooling and I'm sitting stirring up frosting, Grandma looks in the bowl. "Is that for the gravy?"

It's funny, but sad at the same time. I find that if I don't laugh, I'm going to cry because it's so sad to see her memory going downhill like this.

Anyways, Christmas Eve was fun. I was baking some brownies for a dessert that mom was making and was feeding egg shells down the garbage disposal, one at a time, when the sink backed up. I told Dad and he checked it out and there was water shooting out a pin hole in the side of the garbage disposal, so he got to replace the garbage disposal before we got together at Grandma M's and followed the usual Christmas traditions. Including, rearranging the table setting to fit all 10 of us at the table, because every year my aunt insists on setting it only for 8 and having Ryan and Liz sit at the small table in the kitchen because the table seats 8. And every year we rearrange the table to cram everyone in to one table. And every year my other aunt brings Sasha with her and tries to feed her turkey. We all vetoed it this year because any bit of people food gives the dog the walking farts, and well, that dog can sure clear a room.

Christmas Day was just pure chaos. After sleeping in from going to midnight mass the night before, I got up and unloaded and loaded the dishwasher because the kitchen was in chaos from the garbage disposal disaster the day before. I'd handwashed some dishes and was wiping down the counter when the dishwasher started to rinse away the first time. Instantly water started shooting out of the back of the sink. I'm standing there hitting the 'cancel' button frantically on the dishwasher to get the water to stop shooting out. Dad came out into the kitchen and I told him what happened and he realized that he didn't knock out the knock out for the dishwasher before hooking up the garbage disposal, so once that happened, we didn't have water shooting all over the kitchen anymore. After all that we headed over to Grandma P's, and what can you say about Christmas spent in a house with 5 children ages 6 and under. It's loud. There's lots of toys. And Ella found Grandma's squirrel that sings "I can't drive 55" and started dancing to it. Except her version of dancing was jumping up and down in circles and waving her hands around. That was fun.

But we survived.

Now it's the new year. Time for new beginnings. We faced a lot of hard times last year, Grandma's cancer returning, her 7 week bout in the hospital with diverticulitis when we thought that we may lose her a couple of times while she was in there. But now she's home and gaining weight, when she's not trying to steal the car of the lady that stays with her during the day so that she can go get some cigarettes. This happened while Judy was pumping gas into the car. Luckily she caught grandma in time. Or when she got caught flushing her pills down the toilet. It's a new year and things will get better.

My resolutions for 2008:
1. Eat healthier
2. Lose some weight
3. Get organized.

Ups and downs

God what an emotional roller coaster this weekend has been.

Friday after staying awake longer than I would have liked to to see our carpet installed, I managed to collapse and get almost 6 hours of sleep. Then we all went up to see grandma in the hospital where we were assaulted by bad news.

Her fever was back. She was delirious, thinking that she was at home and needed to go to the hospital. It was scary. Not only that, but they'd moved her from the far end of the hall, to the room across the hall from the nurse's station and had a bed monitor on because she had this habit of getting out of bed with no one there to help her, and she was pretty darn weak, plus had a tangle of IV's to deal with. It was a scary sight. When we left, they were prepping her for another CT scan.

And the results weren't good. Her abscess was back, and bigger than before. And the nursing staff was having issues maintaining an IV site, so her alarm was going off all day on the IV pumps and her IV was leaking, so they decided that she needed a PICC line as well, so that they could stop blowing her veins with 2 different IVs.

So yesterday my dad and aunts spent all day waiting to see her doctor, who forgot about her after getting tied up in the emergency room and didn't remember until he was on his way home about her. So he called up at night.

At least yesterday she looked better. She was remembering a bit more and remembering some of what was going on. It seemed like our scare of possibly losing her was over. My mom and I had talked that morning and cried. It's so hard to face our mortality, but I realize that if the time comes, Grandma s ready. She's at peace and she misses Grandpa so much. It'll be hard when the time comes, but I don't think that it's going to be now.

It'll come soon enough if she doesn't start eating soon. We found out over the phone from Dr Ali last night that she's only eating half as much as she needs to survive. We asked the nurses if we could bring her up food since they were doing a calorie count, and they said yes, as long as we told them what we fed her.

So a plan strung into action. We were going to take her the chocolate ice cream that she loved so much from Mussell Beach, and we'd get her a large and tell her that it was a small. She also said to bring her chocolates if we wanted her to eat. So we went this morning after church and got her a bunch of candy: chocolate covered cashew clusters, chocolate covered caramels, and peanut butter kisses. Then we went over to Mandarin House and got 4 orders of takeout Chinese, Sweet and sour shrimp for her, and mom, dad and I got our favorites and took it all up to the hospital, hoping to entice grandma to eat. Unfortunately we got there after her lunch tray was delivered, but it had a piece of rubbery chicken on it, so she swapped out a crab rangoon for the chicken and munched on some of the shrimp. Aunt DeeDee took the leftovers home and heated them up for grandma to eat again later. She nibbled at the shrimp and the rice and ate the other rangoon for dinner and then ate her mashed potatoes and green beans off of her tray, so it was ok, if still not enough.

Until we convinced her to eat a "small" ice cream cone tonight. When we got up there tonight, her PICC line was in, and the plan for her is to get drained again tomorrow and have another drain put into the abscess while she completes 2 week of antibiotics and rehab over at Bay Special Care hospital at Bay Med's West Campus.

She's not out of the woods yet, but things are looking up.

Worry

A week later and my Grandma is still in the hospital. She was admitted through the Emergency Room last Tuesday because of a fever and abdominal pain. Turns out that she has diverticulitis that got all inflamed and the inflamed part exploded and formed an abscess. The abscess that she had (4cmx4cm) still has a drain in it, though it's a smaller than the previous drain. So from Tuesday until Saturday she was NPO, then graduated to ice chips and a banana bag. Saturday she graduated to soft foods and on Sunday we snuck her up some ice cream. That's when we found out that before they're letting her go home, they're going to do a calorie count to see if she's taking in enough nutrition before they take her off of the banana bag. We went up last night and there's a sheet on her door marking what was on each tray that she got during the day, and she barely ate anything off of her trays. We tried to get her to eat more, getting some ice cream from the nurse for her, and she pretty much refused to eat it, until my mom started talking to her and then feeding it to her.

And what's even more worrying is her lack of memory. She's so confused about where she even is. She doesn't know if she's at home or in the hospital. Doesn't know what day it is (but I guess after a week in the hospital that would happen). She wanted an extra blanket and told us that there was one in the linen closet. Sorry Grandma, no linen closet in your room. Then she thought that the blanket my mom got from the nurse was a tablecloth. Mom got her all tucked in and got her to eat some ice cream then Grandma tells us to put it in the freezer. We had to explain to her multiple times that there was no freezer or fridge for us to put them in so she needed to eat it now. A few minutes later she's asking the same questions. The entire time we're trying to tell her that she needs to actually eat if she wants to get out of the hospital.

It's worrying.

If she doesn't start eating more, she's not going to be around much longer.

Happy 27th Anniversary Mom and Dad

Two years ago I was running around frantically trying to organize a surprise party behind their backs. This year dad's got an exam, so the anniversary will once again be celebrated after the day. I love you guys and here's to 27 (at least) more years (if you don't kill each other first :-p)

Death on the Docks

The docks at the State Harbor in Tawas were a sea of intrigue on Sunday morning.

Yup, while I was on my sailing trip this weekend, there was a death on the boat in the slip next to us. It was a dreary and rainy morning, and we were on the boat making coffee, I was curled up with my book, and I heard a woman screaming for someone (I thought a child and it turned out to be an adult, which I thought weird) and then I didn't see anything for a while. Then I was going to take out the trash when I saw that EMS was there. I put the trash out and headed up to the facilities. When I came back, a police officer was walking away with the two women, which I thought was strange and EMS was still at the boat, but they weren't doing anything. Now I was curious. So I crawled back into my spot on the boat and was watching out the window, and we realized that someone had died on the boat. We watched the police take pictures of the boat and a person that looked like a detective showed up, along with the harbor master. Well, it finally cleared up enough for me to head up to the showers. When I was coming back, I saw that the coroner had showed up and when I was walking back to the boat, finally having blue skies, they were wheeling the body down the dock and the cop had a box of something in his hand.

Mysteries abound.

Our sailing trip had started on Friday. I was on my aunt's boat with my other aunt and a friend of theirs. It was a long hot sail up to Tawas where I was the only one that Aunt Colleen would let take the helm on the way up. As the day wore on and I got hotter, I changed into swimwear and slathered up in sunblock. SPF 30 started it out, but as I noticed that I was changing colors (aka becoming pink) I switched to SPF 50. I'm still bright red and trying to stick to tube tops, and going to work tonight is going to be fun.

Saturday I played the "stay out of the sun" game. After breakfast, Aunt Colleen and I headed to town for a bit and I got a t-shirt to wear that covered all of my sunburned areas and a swimsuit cover up, sarong style. When we got back to the boat, I enjoyed the nice weather, by hanging out under the awning with a book and my iPod, it was totally relaxing. After a while, got some ice cream in town and did a bit more shopping, I took a nap on the beach, that was awesome.

Sunday started out with the death. We wandered around town a little more and then mom came up for the day. I was glad to see her and enjoy her company, plus she was bringing me back home since I had to be back to work today. We headed up into town and when we stopped by the kite store at the head of the harbor. The lady behind the counter asked what the heck had happened on the docks that morning. It was the talk of the harbor. Mom and I shopped around a bit, and I found a couple of things to buy, including a birthday gift for my grandma. We headed back to the kite store one more time and I bought a postcard with a picture of Jackson State Prison that said "Having a great time, wish you were here." I found out some gossip about the guy that died. It wasn't his boat and he was alone on it during the night. It turned out that the people that owned the boat stayed the night up in Oscoda and found the guy that had spent the day with them dead on the boat. It appears that things weren't all that they seemed.

All in all, it was a relaxing weekend that I totally needed. Though in a way, I would have preferred to sail on up, and then camp at the State Park because once it gets dark, the harbor was silent, and it was just eerie because there was nothing to do. No where to have a campfire or anything like that. And that's just part of the fun of going up north. That and my aunt's version of vacation includes a television and never cooking anything on your own, but instead having a $30 bottle of wine with a prime rib dinner.

But I had lots of fun with my camera. I took almost 200 pictures this weekend, just getting to learn my new camera. I can't wait to really learn how to use it. More vacation will be needed.

Success!

Just got back from a doctor's appointment with my grandma, and YES! The tumor is shrinking!! Only two more rounds of chemo to go! The end is near!

Words I never thought that I'd hear in the Mussell household

My dad: "I guess it would help if I read the directions."

Happily Ever After

My little brother got married this weekend. After months of planning, the big day was here on Saturday. But that was just the end. There were many crazy moments leading up to it. There was mom working frantically on the cake, starting last Saturday. There was the bachelorette party on Thursday night. Ryan and his friends played golf and beer pong on Thursday. Friday I kind of spoiled myself and made myself all beautiful for the wedding by going and getting a pedicure, my hair highlighted, my eyebrows done, and a spray tan. I have to say that I looked quite stunning when I was done. I barely made it to rehearsal in time though from getting all that done, but I made it. After rehearsal, we all headed out to the hall and had pizza and beer and then we decorated. There was a minor argument over the placement of the tables, but it all worked out and we got out of there about 10. And mom came home and continued to work on the cake. I did my nails with the nailpolish that Liz bought everyone and headed to bed around 12:30.

Saturday was nuts. I got up and helped mom transport the cake and dad take the booze. When we got to the hall I did what I could to finish the decorating since we didn't have enough table skirt to do the head table the night before. Poor dad had to put his hand in a bag of poopy goldfish water to take the goldfish out of the bag from the store and into the vases on the table. Then it was a mad rush to get to the grocery store and buy more pop and the for me to get to the hairdresser. But I got my hair all done up and sparkles sprayed in it and made it to the church on time. We took a million and one pictures before the ceremony.

The ceremony was awesome. It was all so beautiful and the Pastor gave an amazing sermon. I told myself that I wasn't going to cry, but there I was, standing where I could see the look on my brother's face as he said his vows to Liz and I was tearing up. Of course, that was in between silently laughing at the flower girl as she's unzipping her dress up on the altar because it was choking her. Oops.

After the wedding we posed for a million and one more pictures, and the entire time, all of us bridesmaids were wondering when the hell we could take our shoes off because Liz picked out the most uncomfortable shoes on the face of the planet. Once we made it to the beach for the beach pictures though, we all took them off and it felt so good to walk barefoot in the sand. And once again, we were all laughing at the flower girl because she was lifting up her dress to keep it clean, and boy was she lifting it. Before any picture was taken, you always heard "Ana, put your dress down."

The reception was awesome. We all walked in to the DJ playing Rock and Roll part 2 and it just really started the party off on the right foot. The food was amazing. There was a loaf of bread there that was 8 inches tall and about 3 feet long. And the caterer stood there and cut everyone a piece. The bridal party dance was really fun because all of us girls danced it barefoot, mainly because we couldn't stand to put our shoes on one more time. And once the party started, it didn't end. The DJ did all the important stuff right away to get it done, and then he really didn't slow it down the rest of the night, in fact, Ryan had to ask him to slow it down so that he could dance with Grandma. I learned the Love Shack dance, though I doubt that I'll remember it now. And to cap the night off my Grandma P and I started a kickline around Ryan and Liz as they danced the last dance to New York New York.

What an amazing weekend.

Memory

I've been thinking a lot about memories and memory the past few weeks. Watching my grandma slide further into her dimentia is hard. She doesn't remember the time that we spend together and she's not remembering things shortly after she's done them. Last week when I was sitting with her before chemo, I think that we had the same conversation 4 or 5 times.

Which makes me think how precious my memories are. And that makes me think about this blog. I can write about whatever I want and then I can look back on the person that I was and the person that I'm becoming. It helps me to remember the fun times. Like when Jill and I went to Ann Arbor or the crazy things that happened during college when I started this blog and started becoming the confident person that I am today instead of being the shy girl that I was.

And I can hope. I can hope that I won't have the same memory problems when I get older that my grandma now has. But then again, I know that I'll have this blog that can always help me remember. Grandma was writing things down that she'd done during the day, but now it seems like 5 minutes later she's forgotten what she did. I just don't want her to look at me one day and not know who I am. More and more of our family is having the fear that this is going to happen, and we're scared.

The Chemo Saga

Ok the hospital that my grandma gets her chemo at is so freaking stupid!

There is an order of draw for lab work for a reason. First you fill the blue top tube because it has to be completely full or it's no good. Then you fill the green tube because that's what is used to check electrolytes and stuff. THEN you fill the purple tube because it has EDTA in it and EDTA contains potassium (which is a lyte) and binds up all your calcium. Anyways, the nurse that was drawing the blood off of my grandma's line attached the line, flushed it like she was supposed to, drew off waste like she was supposed to, drew the syringe for lab and then laid it down on the table while she flushed the line again. So she let the syringe sit while she finished messing with the line and then she tubed it. My jaw dropped when I wateched her fill the purple tube first, then the blue and then the green. I was really expecting them to have to repeat her labs, but they didn't. So I sat with her until they got the lab results back. In that time grandma got thirsty and wanted coffee but they didn't have any on the floor, so I went down to the cafeteria and got both of us some coffee. Two hours later they have the lab results and are starting the first chemo pre-med. I know that she's going to be there all day and so I ask what time they expect her to be done and they said around 4:30. I told my grandma that I'd be back around 4 to see how she was doing and to pick her up because I had other things to do during the day.

Fast forward to shortly before 4pm. I get back up to the hospital and they're just starting the last med which takes an hour and a half to infuse. No big deal that it's taken longer than expected. Grandma wants a snack so she gives me some money and I go down to the cafeteria and get her the cup of ice cream that she wants. I run back upstairs and tell her that I'll be back in an hour, I need to go to the store to get some stuff for dinner that we're gonna have at her house. I run to WalMart for salad stuff and spend $70 (yeah, I bought more than just salad stuff) and ran home, put the groceries away and went back up to the hospital.

The wing that she's in is deserted. The outpatient nurses have all gone home and all the rooms around her are empty. There's a nurse from the inpatient end of the unit that is checking on her occassionally. But she can't hear the alarm going off on the IV pump when the meds are done running and I have to go find her because she has her own load of patients that are in house too. Not to mention that my grandma is 76 years old and has absolutely NO short term memory. What if she would have had a reaction to the meds and couldn't press her call button or holler for help?

Don't get sick. That's all that I can say.

And I shall stay 24 forever...

Because I now share my birthday with my newest cousin Amaya Sharon who wasn't supposed to join the world until June 1st (which is coincidently Liz's birthday) but she decided last night that it was time to join the world and that her cousin Amanda's birthday just the coolest day to do so. I'll post some pictures of her when I get to meet her.

But just because I'm never gonna grow old doesn't mean that you can stop sending the presents ;~P

Chaos, it's not just a theory...

It's a way of life!

This weekend was one of the BIG events concerning the upcoming BIG event in June. It was the bridal shower. Itwas weeks of planning chaos boiled down to one long day. It all went smoothly during the set up. Liz's aunts are totally nuts and I loved them. I can't wait to see them at the wedding. Liz and Ryan got almost everything that they registered for with only a few duplicate gifts that they have to return tomorrow.

So today mom and I lazed around the house until mid afternoon and headed out to run some errands. When we came home we found a message on the answering machine from my aunt informing us that my grandma was in the hospital. Her platelet count was too low last week for her to start chemo and one of her doctors decided to do some more labs over the weekend and her platelet count was almost critical low, so she was admitted to the hospital. Mom and I went right up and visited with her for a while. You can't tell that anything is wrong by looking at her, but they're not sure why her platelets are so low, so now it's going to be lots of labs and other tests while we wait.

And to top it all off, I have a sore throat and an ear ache.