Memory

I've been thinking a lot about memories and memory the past few weeks. Watching my grandma slide further into her dimentia is hard. She doesn't remember the time that we spend together and she's not remembering things shortly after she's done them. Last week when I was sitting with her before chemo, I think that we had the same conversation 4 or 5 times.

Which makes me think how precious my memories are. And that makes me think about this blog. I can write about whatever I want and then I can look back on the person that I was and the person that I'm becoming. It helps me to remember the fun times. Like when Jill and I went to Ann Arbor or the crazy things that happened during college when I started this blog and started becoming the confident person that I am today instead of being the shy girl that I was.

And I can hope. I can hope that I won't have the same memory problems when I get older that my grandma now has. But then again, I know that I'll have this blog that can always help me remember. Grandma was writing things down that she'd done during the day, but now it seems like 5 minutes later she's forgotten what she did. I just don't want her to look at me one day and not know who I am. More and more of our family is having the fear that this is going to happen, and we're scared.