A little dirty humor

Ways to annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody farts.
4. Start talking to yourself and say stuff like "I told you not to follow me here! I don't want you to touch me there again!".
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Damn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from eight to 6 feet Sigh relaxingly.
8. Get a bucket of water and drop a couple of Baby Ruth's in it. Flush the toilet and yell "Overflow! Run!". Then dump the bucket under the stall.
9. Say, "That's funny, I don't remember eating corn."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!
14. Say, "From the smell of things, you must have had eggs for breakfast! "
15. Stick your hand under the stall and ask "Can you give me some toilet paper?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down a copy of a Gay magazine on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Out of a dead silence yell "Hey! Who farted!!!".

It's spring!

I've never been so happy for nice weather. I wore flip flops to class today and got my first frio mocha of the season this morning. I love the spring time. Everything looks so fresh and green. And when I was home over the weekend I got to hear my first ship horn of the season. I love that sound, the long blast and the short blast signalling one of the four bridges in town to open. Of course I only live about a mile from the first bridge over the river, so I hear lots of ships all summer long. It's a real soothing sound. Great when you have your window open at night with a breeze blowing in and you hear the ships and know that life is still going on while you sleep.

So lesse, I haven't updated this in about 5 days, so where have I been. Well I went home and relaxed some over the weekend. Left after I made up my bloodbank lab on Friday afternoon. The weekend was too short though. Friday night mom and I went to JoAnn Fabric (dangerous store for me to go in, but I wanted to get some fabric to make a new shirt) and not only did I buy the fabric that I went there to get but I also cashed in on scrapbook paper because they had it half off. Saturday mom and I went to this huge craft show and I picked up a few things and then we ran around and did some other stuff. We got some sad news at church though. Our Bishop, who had announced in February that he was fighting cancer, died Saturday afternoon and he was going to be getting a bone marrow transplant soon. :( He wasn't even that old either, only 66 and he was a really popular Bishop. Then later that night we went to Sears and I picked up a bunch of paint chips to decide what colors to paint my room this summer. I'm thinking a light purple base with a darker purple rag rolled over it, for kind of a marble effect. It should look real sweet. Then on Sunday we had brunch and I headed back to school.

Oh and if anyone is interested, I'm selling my 1993 Chevy Cavalier for $1500. It runs great, and really likes water. See me if you're interested.

And I'm getting majorly pumped for the concert Saturday. That and the spring weather put me in one big ass happy mood! Go me!

What weird Latin phrase are you?

Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
"You do not know the power of the Dark
Side." There are two possibilities: you
are a Star Wars geek, or you are unreasoningly
scary.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla



Had to be being able to select anything that had to do with Star Wars in the answers

Ups and downs

Down: I haven't heard anything about permission for the online history class that I want to take
Up: If I can't get into I'm going to take humanities 101

Down: Because I was sick yesterday, I didn't study much for my micro test today
Up: I got 53 out of 49 (yes, there was a bonus question)
Double up: I have the highest grade in the class

Up: I get to miss half of class on the 3rd to go see the guys of VACO in Ann Arbor
Down: Having to buy tickets through email really sucks and is kinda tough to meet someone in person to buy the tickets when you live 2.5 hours away.

Down: I'm tired.
Up: I feel a million times better then when I was sufferring from mild food poisoning yesterday.

Up: It's spring and I can wear sandals again!

Up: Things are just good.

Registration sucks!

Got up at 6am to register for fall today. Was told that I couldn't register for 2 of my classes, one I didn't meet a specific prerequsite for (yet took another class in the same subject that counted) and the other one I needed faculty permission for. Fun stuff. Got the override for the one, working on getting permission

Modernization

I am so glad that I live in a modern country with good sanitation, clean drinking water and top of the line health care. I was in parisitology today (our first parasite lab) and we had to watch this video about parasites. Just in the beginning, from the images that we were showing, I'm so glad that because I live in a modern society that I don't have to worry about a lot of those problems. Watching that video really made me appreciate what I have.

Oopsie

So yesterday in lab we were staining slides in microbiology. We were doing normal gram stains and stains for acid fast bacilli and the acid fast stain was kinda noxious. Well shortly after we'd finished staining, some staff members from the 3rd floor had come upstairs and asked if we were staining slides. Apparently, a pipe from our sinks had broken and stain and water was leaking on 3rd floor. Oozing out of the ceiling, out of light fixtures and down walls. And this was by the computer help lab. The walls looked pretty cool with pink and purple stain running down it though. But then today we couldn't run anything down any of the drains in our labs. We had to stain into dishpans and use waterless hand sanitizer instead of handwashing. Fun day

Rebelling, in the worst way

I think my body is trying to tell me that it's had enough. That I need to get regular sleep, exercise, and start eating better. I need to stop depending on caffiene to get me through my day and lower my stress level (like that will ever happen). Why now? Why when I only have a few more weeks left in this semester? Why is my insomnia back? I stared at my ceiling for 2 hours last night while trying to sleep. My class schedule is so hectic now that I don't even know if I'm coming or going any more. Save me.

What the Clinical Lab Science Program has ruined for me:

1. SEX! (For reasons far, far too numerous to mention).

2. Most food, excluding eternally-sterile Hostess products.

2a. Milk (Cellular; Listeria monocytogenes).
2b. Spaghetti and Meatballs (Malassezia furfur wet prep).
2c. Fresh vegetables (Listeria from contaminated fertilizer).
2d. Most meat (Antibiotics, parasitic cysts, Cestoda, etc., etc., etc).
2e. Butter (Appearance of pathogenic yeast colonies).
2f. Grapes (Pseudomonas, Staph aureus).
2g. Honey (Clostridium botulinum).
2h. Anything home-canned (ditto).
2i. Oysters (Vibrio cholera).
2j. Sushi (Again, numerous reasons).
2k. Tap-water (Giardia again; hooray!).
2l. Strawberries (lesions from Trichomonas vaginalis).
2m. Chocolate agar (chocolate agar plates).

3. Swimming in lakes or ponds.

4. Monkeys (thank you, Giardia lamblia.)

5. Holidays, as professors seem to take sadistic pleasure in scheduling huge exams on or
immediately following them.

6. Pets. (Gah, more parasites)

7. Contact lenses (Acanthamoeba castellanii(

8. Growing old.

9. Having babies.

10. The wonder and mystery of the human body.

11. Faith in the beneficence of Nature. I now understand that Nature is out to get me in
nearly every way imaginable and some that aren't.

12. The company of my fellow man, especially if said company is in a hospital, nursing
home or daycare.

13. Gardening (damn you to hell, Sporotrichosis).

14. Haylofts (Aspergillus).

15. Birds (Histoplasma capsulatum).

16. Bats (the same).

17. Air conditioning (Legionella).

18. Turtles (Salmonella).

19. Restaraunts.

20. Travel both foreign and domestic.


Our teacher emailed this to us. It's so true. Most of it anyways

I didn't fail! Sorta

I got my hematology midterm grade today. So I got a 68 on the test. Technically, according to program standards, I failed the test because I got lower than a C, but I don't consider it failing because the highest grade in the class on the test was a 76. Besides, I'm getting an 83 in the class, and that's what is important

Weeeeeee!

I start advanced microbiology in an hour. Why is it that for me, the amount of time that I spend in one class is greater than most people spend in class all week for all of their classes?

Honest opinions wanted

Ok all you readers, I want your honest opinions. I don't care what you say, I just want to see what you think. What do you think of me? What kind of image do I project to people? Please, help answer my curiosity. Thanks! : D

I promise that they'll stop soon :p

Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

People gotta stop showing my quizzes!

A sure sign that I'm bored, more quizzes


You are a Neon Tetra! You're not evil at all...too
busy swimming mindlessly around in circles.


What sort of evil critter are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



You are a human shadow. If a loved one needs you,
you are always right at his or her heels! Your
deep social connection with human beings
produces your qualities of genuine caring and
charisma. However, at times you are naive to
the true nature of your loved ones. Remember
that humans' gift of free will does not always
lead them in wise directions. But your essence
of love and friendship represent the other
precious gifts of humanity. Overall you are a
strikingly valuable and innocent being who has
a lot to give.(please rate my quiz cuz it took
me for freaking ever to create)


What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

New links

I just addded a bunch of links. Check em out. : D

How evil are you?

How evil are you?

Step away from Old Navy

I got approved for an Old Navy card today! Look out world!

What do you say in times like this?

The right words never seem to come when someone in your family is coming close to death. I just found out this afternoon that my aunt Grace is in the ICU of our hospital here and she most likely won't be coming home. She knows it too. How can you expect someone to live though when they have pneumonia, end stage emphysema, a broken back, congestive heart failure and there's very little blood going to her lower extremities. The last thing is how she knows that she won't be coming home, she said "that's how my sister's legs looked when she died."

She's not even a blood relative, but she may as well be. My dad grew up next door to her, she's one of my grandma's closest friends, and though I rarely see her, she may as well be a blood relative. It's going to be sad when she dies, so prayers are much appreciated.

Feh

I have nothing to say. Really I don't. Maybe I should take that as a sign to start working on some of the stuff that I brought home to do

What's your dragon spirit?

I'm bored and on a quiz kick. So sue me.


Water Dragon!
You are intuitive and caring. Your emotions run
deep and usually you keep them at a dull roar.
But if tempered with you become a raging sea.
You are a very good friend and you are very
loving.


What's your Dragon Spirit?(With Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

This road that we travel...

Why is it that I feel so trapped right now? I'm feeling kind of unsatisfied with my life. Trapped by my circumstances. Yeah, so this time next year I'll be living at home again after being away at school for three and a half years. Is that why I feel like I still have to ask my parent's permission to do stuff? I am 20, almost 21 after all. I don't have to ask them if I can do anything, yet I'm not independent from them yet because they pay some of my bills each month (that's changing in the summer though apparently). Why do I feel like I'm stuck in this little town? What if I wanted to take off across the country to visit friends? I know that while I live at home, my parents will disapprove because everyone that you meet over the internet is a psychostalkerserialkiller (sorry to break that to you guys). Yet, I know that if I say that I'm going they won't stop me, but I still feel obligated to listen to them because they are my parents. Why do I feel so obligated to be the good girl at home all the time, when there's this wild side inside of me that wants to get out? I feel trapped really I do.

I thought about the title of this entry for a while, not quite sure what to call it even though I knew what I was going to be talking abot. So once again, I turned to music.
this road that we travel
may it be the straight & narrow
God give us peace & grace from you
all the day
shelter with fire
our voices we raise still higher
God give us peace & grace from you
all the day through

My road doesn't seem that straight and narrow right now though. It seems twisted and I don't know the way. I don't know which way that I'm supposed to go.

I don't have that many friends that I see person to person every day. Most of the people that I call my friends, I talk to over the internet, even though I'd love to meet most of them and get to know them better in person. I value their opinions and know that I can turn to them for advice, yet I haven't even heard their voices. And they still know more about me then the people that I associate with daily. Kinda scary.

Maybe soon this caged in feeling will go away and I'll feel less trapped

What kind of beauty are you?

You have a sex beauty... hum but it's not really
good... you use more your body than what you
really are to attract people. You must end up
with wrong people... A lot of people are like
that now... The entire world is influenced by
sex and money... you're just following the
crowd.
But you are really sexy and a lot of people would
like to be as sexy as you. So you are lucky to
be sexy ;)
RATE MY QUIZ!


What kind of beauty do you have?(with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

The Beginning of Break

Spring break kinda started yesterday, since I didn't have any classes. But I had a million and one errands to run. And of course it was raining. Every time that I had to get out of my car, or to my car for that matter, the skies opened up and it'd downpour. I had to look like a drowned rat with a soaked windbreaker, jeans, and flip flops on. But I got my errands done, so that was good. However, I'd picked up a bunch of hours subbing at the front desk yesterday, from 4-7, and then 10-4. Well, the person that was supposed to work from 7-10 pulled a no call no show and so I ended up working from 4pm until 4am. Luckily at 8pm Jill started working with me, and we did chick flick movie night and then random movies the rest of the night to keep us awake and occupied. That and a game of War that lasted the last hour that we worked (I had all 4 aces, guess who won :) )

Anyway, dragged myself out of bed at 11:30 this morning to close down the hall and started doing room check at 12 and finished at 12:30. Then I had the joy of packing because I didn't get to get that done yesterday, so I got off campus at about 2 and headed for home. What a fun drive. Here's what I learned. Michigan curves are meant to be taken at the speed posted, not 10 or 15 over, I tried that once, luckily I maintained control of the car. I am also lucky because I almost got caught speeding twice today, luckily I didn't get pulled over. Also, flooded roads aren't cool to drive over. There's this one spot between Mecosta and Remus that's rather low, and usually has a small amount of water over it when the snow melts. Well between the melting snow, and the storm we got the other day, the water was up to the doors of my car. Not fun to drive through. I was going a whole 5 mph at that time. Then when I got to Midland, the Titabawassee river had flooded so badly that an entire golf course was covered, the skate park couldn't be seen, and all that I saw of this one pavillion was the roof. That's some high waters.

Now, to get unpacked...

The stupidity of people

Brain Cramps

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

``````````````````````````````````
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"I love California. I practically grew up
in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
``````````
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
```````````
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the
truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
````````````````````````````````````````
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
`````````````````````````````````
Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.
"--Keppel Enderbery
```````````````
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
-Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the
next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record. "
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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....Feeling smarter yet?

Ack

Today is going to be a bit ranty, so bare with me...

I don't know how people can survive on 4 hours of sleep. Tuesday night I stayed up until 3:30am talking about religion and trying to explain mine. That wouldn't have been to bad except for the fact that I had to be up at 7:30am to work hall sign up at 9am. That was boring. We ran out of private rooms Tuesday, so no one wanted to sign up for our hall. So I stayed down there for 2 hours with my head propped up, had a break for a few hours and spent another few hours down there. During that time I tried to study for the test that I had today.

I got back last night and found every possible distraction not to study: duty, laundry, clean the windows, talk to people online and just a few random things and then went to bed early.

Today was hellish. I stayed in bed too long and didn't have a chance to get my morning mocha. Studied for hematology during pathophysiology and statistics. Got back from class at 11 and totally needed some stress relief so I cranked my computer volume and turned up some music and sang really loud and really off key. It was good stress relief. Had lunch with Jess and then came back and sang some more as I waited to get into the bathroom so I could take a shower. Around 1 I headed back to allied health and hit the books even more. Found out that our teacher had given our test to the people that work in his lab at the hospital that he works at and they got a 50% average. So we felt pretty screwed, and we were. The test covered 20 chapters worth of material. What kind of sadistic teacher gives an exam over 20 chapters of material? I'm pretty sure that I failed.

ACLS meeting went good today. We finally made plans for MSCLS. There's only 4 of us going because it's partially over our easter break. And I'm the only female going. And we're only getting one hotel room. That's gonna be interesting...

Apathy grows quietly where rapture used to fly...

Yeah, time to rip off Sister Hazel for a blog title.

I'm freaking frustrated right now. And it's getting me down.

Ok, having 4 exams this week probably isn't helping. I feel like I'm getting spread thin studying for them, and I have work too. Wedensday I'm helping with fall hall sign up from 8-11 and 2-4. But tomorrow I'll have 2 of my exams done, so that's all good. Then I have all evening tomorrow and all day Wednesday and a good chunk of Thursday to study for the 2 exams that I have hematology wise.

And ACLS is pissing me off too. We're trying to get organized to go to the state meeting in April. I can't get anyone to agree on anything about it. Some people only want to go for 2 days, some for all 3. Figuring out the hotel, let's not even go there. I just want to scream and cry. Let it all out. Why did I accept the nomination for President? Why?

And Niki was bugging me earlier. We got into an arguement about housing policy, and how it's the resident's job to confront a behavior (such as noise) before an RA will. I'm not a babysitter, it's not my job to go tell someone to shut up if you don't do it first. You may not think so, but it's more effective coming from you than from me.

That concludes today's rant. Now for the inspiration for this post, because life does seem to be getting in the way

We knew it all from a little thing
It was everything in our first minute
And it took us to another place
Yeah another place and we fell in it
How dare you not remember
How dare you walk away
We adored every little thing
Every little thing would leave us breathless
Every dawn spelled another day
And in another day we weren't so restless
How dare you not remember
How dare you walk away

And I wanted you so much
Just like I do right now
I wanted us to be the one the poets write their books about
I wanted it to last
I wanted to grow old
But life got in the way

We walked around in a heavy haze
We were stuck in days of so much warring
We got lost in a tricky maze
Yeah a tricky maze that was so scarring
How come you can't remember
How dare you walk away
Then you start to add the little things
Add the little things and trip the mighty
Now we got a little bitter thing
A little bitter thing that grew like ivy
And how dare you not remember
How dare you walk away

And I wanted you so much
Just like I do right now
I wanted us to be the one the poets write their books about
I wanted it to last
I wanted to grow old
But life got in the way


And apathy grows quietly where rapture used to fly
And promises and certainty have left love here to die
Won't you stay and don't let this one fall away

And I wanted you so much
Just like I do right now
I wanted us to be the one the poets write their books about
I wanted it to last
I wanted to grow old
But life got in the way

And I wanted you so much
Just like I do right now
I wanted us to be the one the poets write their books about
I wanted it to last
I wanted to grow old
But life got in the way

Yeah well life got in the way