The scope and aftermath

So a week ago I was getting ready for my scope. About 11pm on Monday I had the first of three enemas. That was joyous. Got through that part of my prep and went to bed and then got to repeat that process two more times in the morning. Then I got to go to my doctor's appointment. They did the sigmoidoscopy with the only comfort help being in the form of lube and no sedation (fuckers). Mom, Grandma, Uncle Tom and I went to Mussell Beach for lunch afterwards and I've never seen Grandma so excited to eat nachos. We had the nachos and a hot fudge sundae and I started feeling really crappy again. We went home and I kinda dozed on the couch since I was scheduled to start third shift that night. Unfortunately that nap was interrupted by my stomach and frequent needs to empty my bowel. Needless to say, I didn't go to work that night.

But I also did some thinking and remembered that my senior year of college I was having similar stomach issues that were resolved by removing dairy from my diet and replacing it with soy and when I couldn't avoid dairy, to use lactaid to avoid the stomach ache.

Wednesday I woke up and was shaking and twitching and it wasn't cool so I called the doctor's office and got in that afternoon to see the nurse practitioner. Verdict: Dehydration from that damn prep. I also talk to her about my suspected lactose intolerance and ask for a lactose tolerance test. Instead I get food allergen testing ordered. I also started working thirds that night and drank copious amounts of coffee to help me get through the night.

Thursday, wake up again feeling shaky and twitchy. Call the doctor's office again and they tell me to keep on the fluids and also NO CAFFEINE.

The bastards.

Don't they know that caffeine is my lifeline?

I suffer through work that night, come home and then drop dead for a majority of the day.

I know that there is no way that I can make it through another day with no caffeine.

So I go to work with a thermos of coffee in one hand and a bottle of gatorade in the other.

Problem solved.