Four and a halfish years of blogging: Months 7-12

Month 7
1. Damnit! So we do rounds at 2am and all is quiet, half hour later night security calls me, funky smell down on terrace. Can you guess what it was? Yup it was spray paint and marijuana. And the stupid people grabbed their stuff and ran as soon as we mentioned the police. I love my job.
2. What kind of screwed up world is this? Last micro exam I half-assed my studying and got an A, this time I studied my ass off and got a B.Screw studying
3. I saw one tree that was orange, yellow and green and there was a rainbow. And I loved looking out the window and up at the stars on the way back, reminds me of being out on the water late at night in the middle of summer... like home.
4. You might be the only one who heard that. Do something. Don't run. Do something
5. And as we were meeting at the desk to go on rounds at 11 last night, one of my residents came and asked if we'd seen anyone come through the lobby running because some had thrown a piss filled balloon at his window, which he of course had open, and shattered when it hit the screen and there was urine all over his stuff.
6. Today was kind of a rough day. I had kind of a tough talk with someone that I care about last night but I feel better now that things are out in the open. Unfortunately the rough feelings kind of carried over into today some but luckily T was able to give me some insight, along with a little reminder of 1 Cor 13:7, which is an awesome passage in itself, I just love the passage on love. It's a good thing for friends like T sometimes.
7. Damn. Damn damn damn. Ok something is wrong with my car. All week people who have been riding passenger have said that the floor has been damp up front. Well, when I went to go to church tonight, there was about a quarter inch of some kind of liquid on the passengers side. The window was up and the door was closed on that side. I don't know what's wron
8.It's the day of a million posts. Sure, we'll go with that, it's 3am after all. Just finished TFP. Think I'll start Blade. Anyone calls me before noon, and they will die a slow and painful death
9. Yeah, so I'm a geek. I mean I knew it before, but after driving an hour yesterday, on the release date of The Final Prophecy, down to Grandville and Rivertown Crossings mall, I realized that as much as I may try to hide it, I'm a geek. Either that or I'm just really impatient because Big Rapids sucks book wise. But while I was at Barnes and Noble (yes, there's a B&N inside of the mall) I dropped $40 in about 10 minutes.
10. And ok, yeah I did have about a half hour gossip session with Officer Hottie while on rounds last night. Ah the good old memories of last year. All the drugs and alcohol and fire alarms. The funny thing is, he agreed with me about it being impossible to get our hall director over here in the middle of the night. I qoute "you almost needed a murder over here to get her here" Which is pretty darn true. We had a freaking fire and she didn't come over one night.

Month 8
1.No better way to brighten up a class then a discussion on genital cultures. Fun times.
2. And now I feel like I'm losing my best friend to his girlfriend and I don't like that feeling. This sucks.
3. OMG. Last night I did an alcohol alternative karoake program. Sure, it's Thirsty Thursday so you don't expect the biggest turnout in the world, but boy I really didn't expect the people that did show up. Every pothead/suspected pothead in the building was there. Even the ones that we'd just caught the night before, and I'd just finished their judicial documentation an hour before. Well, one of them decided that he needed to sing with me, so I let him pick out a song and he picked Nobody Wants to be Lonely. Ok, so it's a big love song duet by Ricky Martin and Christina Aguilera. That was interesting. And then he decided that he needed to hug me and profess his undying love for me that he'd been fighting for a year and a half. Maybe he wasn't as sober as I thought that he was...
4. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
5. So anyways I was sitting at one of the tables drinking my mocha and eating my cinnamon roll and working on my notecard for my exam when the associate director of housing walked by. I said hi, he went off somewhere and then came back and looked over my shoulder at what I was studying. I looked up at him and said "Diagnostic Microbiology" and he shuddered and walked off.
6. Tiger Balm! I love that stuff. It is the best muscle relaxant/arthritis cream out there. And it actually smells good too. Ok, it smells good if you like the smell of menthol, camphor and cloves. I'm addicted to this stuff. Started using it during swim season in high school. Half the team used it. We were the hardest working team in the conference and we really beat ourselves up during practive so the pool always smelled of chlorine and tiger balm. I love this stuff. Just the smell brings back all the memories of HS, and I feel great now.
7. Damn it damn it damn it. The first night all week that I actually fell asleep at a decent hour and the fire alarm goes off and we find a room smelling like pot.
8. Ahh there's nothing like hitting the local pub at noon

Month 9
1. I just have to surivive boredom for another week and teach my dad how to knock on my door before opening it..
2. I was curling my hair this morning while I was getting ready for church and I found my first gray hair. Excuse me while I go lay in bed and cry all day, I'm only 20!!
3. Ok so letting my Aunt Denise's dog lick the plates after dinner wasn't a good idea because the dog farted all night and cleared four of us off the couch at one point, but it's a good lesson learned.
4. Oh man am I glad that my parents weren't home earlier. I was lighting my fudge candle and as I ignited the match, it broke in my hand and the lit end fell onto an old blanket that I had sitting on the floor. Luckily I grabbed the match and stomped on the blanket (which reminds me, I don't think I'll ever get that kind of blanket for when I have kids because it melted and burned pretty quickly) and put the small fire out before setting my room on fire. I'm just glad mom and dad weren't home because my room smelled like burnt fabric for a while. They probably would have taken away my matches had they been home.
5. It hurts. My closest friend is going through something that I don't even want to have to imagine going through for many more years and I feel so helpless. I want to be there offering my friendship and suppory, but I can't be and it hurts so muc hseeing him so vulnerable like this. I just feel like there's something more that I could be doing...
6. Unfortunately, the coming of the snow means that I don't get to do my ritualistic snow dance in the backyard. Probably a good thing for the neighbors though. ;)
7. Why do telemarketers alwayscall either when you're eating a family meal or on the can?
8. There's a lot of ugliness in the world. I wish that it'd just go away. I wish that everyone could feel safe and unthreatened by the people around them. I wish that people weren't so obsessed. I wish that people wouldn't want to hurt each other. I wish that people would learn to accept differences. I wish that people would learn how to control themselves. I wish that the world was different. This quote just popped into my head from the leadership program that I did the other day. From "Everything I need to know about leadership, I learned in kindergarten." "Just think how nice the world would be if at 3pm everyday everyone put down what they were doing and had a snack of warm cookies and milk and then laid down for a nap for an hour."

I wish that the ugliness would go away...

Month 10
1. I don't think the snow is ever going to stop. Somewhere around 9 inches is supposed to fall by morning, and it's nasty out there. I just want to spend the day cuddled up somewhere warm.
2. This is something that really pisses me off. People disrespecting the national anthem. The time between when it's announced that the anthem is going to be sang and when the singer starts is NOT the time to yell obscenities into the silence of the arena at the officials or opposing team. During the singing of the anthem, you either sing along or remain respectfully quiet. You do NOT carry on a conversation. You do NOT pass around chapstick. You do NOT laugh. You do NOT curse. You respect our flag and country and whay it stands for. It's as simple as that.
3. But back to Bubba. In the 3 hours that we were at the bowling alley, he actually kissed my ass, kissed my hand, slapped my ass and I spent a lot of time held close to him.
4. It also really sucks when you're trying to sleep and someone knocks on your door at 3am, when the door says your out (just because you forgot to change it to in when you got back) and wants to be let into their room.
5. It's even less fun when you go somewhere in your car and the door won't open so you have to crawl over the center console and get out through the passenger's side.
6. Bow before my Geekiness underlings!
7. have a new hematology teacher who has both a mullet and a combover
8.

Random Quotes From Bored RAs

1. The Glitter Glue is crunchy
2. Are you saying that the Virgin Mary has a penis?
3. It's a baby Jesus
4. A bandaid just fell out of this phamplet
5. Eww my gum just fell out of my mouth
6. Bomb's away
7. I'm sorry I left my whore boot box at home
8. It's a 69
9. It's growing stuff
10. The tape has salsa on it
11. I got one of these stuck in my ear once
12. Amanda, you've got a pin in your ass
13. I'll put your hand there to get it
14. Big gap where there shouldn't be.
15. Don't touch the coffee
16. ...It's stolen from a hotel
17. She's got the leaning tower of cups going on over there

9. Lack of sufficient hot water.

Month 11
1. I was on rounds about an hour ago. There was a bag of trash in the hallway. Jill knew who it belonged to. We knocked on the door 3 times. They said come in. The music was loud. The door was locked. I announced that RAs were keying in. I saw 2 people having sex. I need bleach. I told them to put some clothes on. Their door closer wouldn't work. I had to see more ass. I want a drink.
2.

You might be in the medical field if...

-Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you
-Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change
-You find humor in other people's stupidity
-You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac
-Your idea of comforting a child is to place him in a papoose restraint
-You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a diagnosis
-You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce
-You believe that "Pizza" is a food group
-You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says "Boy, it sure is quiet around here"
-You are out in public and you compliment a complete stranger on their great veins
-You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Center"
-You hate working on nights with a full moon
-You don't think a referral to Dr Kevorkian is inappropriate for this patient
-You have ever wanted to hold a seminar called "Suicide-getting it right the first time"
-You have ever had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably
-You think caffeine should be available in IV form
-You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience
-The most commonly uttered phrase after midnight is "What changed at 2:00am that makes it an emergency after 6 months?"
-You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis
-You have ever referred to the ER as a "shit magnet"
-You believe that the ER waiting room should be supplied with Valium
-You have ever wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to the lab
-When ordering labs, the doctor wants to order a "dumbshit profile"
-When you mention vegetables, you are not referring to a food group
-You are totally astounded when someone from the lab speaks English (HEY! I speak English)
-Your patient states "I have no idea how that got stuck up there"
-You have your weekends off marked and planned for a year
-You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA just so you don't have to deal with them anymore
-You use your status to get out of speeding tickets
-You use the word GOMER (Get Out of My ER) in a sentence more than once a night
-You have ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level (Hell, I do that as an RA)
-You threaten to use the hose if your patient won't give you a urine specimen
-When someone tells you how many drinks they've had, your question it "and how big were those drinks?"

Month 12
1. Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
"You do not know the power of the Dark
Side." There are two possibilities: you
are a Star Wars geek, or you are unreasoningly
scary.
2. I need to stop depending on caffiene to get me through my day and lower my stress level (like that will ever happen).
3.

What the Clinical Lab Science Program has ruined for me:

1. SEX! (For reasons far, far too numerous to mention).

2. Most food, excluding eternally-sterile Hostess products.

2a. Milk (Cellular; Listeria monocytogenes).
2b. Spaghetti and Meatballs (Malassezia furfur wet prep).
2c. Fresh vegetables (Listeria from contaminated fertilizer).
2d. Most meat (Antibiotics, parasitic cysts, Cestoda, etc., etc., etc).
2e. Butter (Appearance of pathogenic yeast colonies).
2f. Grapes (Pseudomonas, Staph aureus).
2g. Honey (Clostridium botulinum).
2h. Anything home-canned (ditto).
2i. Oysters (Vibrio cholera).
2j. Sushi (Again, numerous reasons).
2k. Tap-water (Giardia again; hooray!).
2l. Strawberries (lesions from Trichomonas vaginalis).
2m. Chocolate agar (chocolate agar plates).

3. Swimming in lakes or ponds.

4. Monkeys (thank you, Giardia lamblia.)

5. Holidays, as professors seem to take sadistic pleasure in scheduling huge exams on or
immediately following them.

6. Pets. (Gah, more parasites)

7. Contact lenses (Acanthamoeba castellanii(

8. Growing old.

9. Having babies.

10. The wonder and mystery of the human body.

11. Faith in the beneficence of Nature. I now understand that Nature is out to get me in
nearly every way imaginable and some that aren't.

12. The company of my fellow man, especially if said company is in a hospital, nursing
home or daycare.

13. Gardening (damn you to hell, Sporotrichosis).

14. Haylofts (Aspergillus).

15. Birds (Histoplasma capsulatum).

16. Bats (the same).

17. Air conditioning (Legionella).

18. Turtles (Salmonella).

19. Restaraunts.

20. Travel both foreign and domestic.

4. Why is it that for me, the amount of time that I spend in one class is greater than most people spend in class all week for all of their classes?
5.Maybe soon this caged in feeling will go away and I'll feel less trapped
6. ACLS meeting went good today. We finally made plans for MSCLS. There's only 4 of us going because it's partially over our easter break. And I'm the only female going. And we're only getting one hotel room. That's gonna be interesting...